Torture to Love?
by ryu-hane
Summary: I changed it some. Now it's couple's counseling for the IY Cast, and me and my psycho friend are the psychiatrists. Sane people.....BEWARE.....BWA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
1. Always the Romantic

*The Torturer* "What's up Inu-Chan?" Inu-Yasha looked up to see Kagome---the ever bouncy girl that had haunted his every waking moment since he had met her. He tried not to clench his fist. "Call me Inu-Chan one more time, and I'll---" "Is that any way to be?" She flipped part of his white hair, and he had to restrain himself from killing the girl. "Keep in mind that I could always tell Kikyo---" "SHUT UP!" After this outburst, more than half of the other students were staring at them. "Trying to get attention huh?" Kagome's friend Sango had come to stand by her. "You're not torturing him again, are you?" Inu-Yasha mumbled to himself. 'So, maybe the "Shrine to Kikyo" that I had in my notebook wasn't such a good idea after all.' Miroku, Sango's boyfriend, sat down by him. "Don't feel bad. Sango's been torturing me too. I haven't flirted with another girl in weeks." Sango grinned and pulled out her heaviest textbook. "Oh shit!" he yelled, starting to run. "The teacher may have taken away her boomerang bone, but she gave her a book!" The chase around the cafeteria was at first comical, but seeing Sango armed with anything hard or heavy and Miroku with the huge bumps on his head had become a daily routine by now. Kagome had taken a seat across from Inu-Yasha. Out of nowhere a small boy with orange hair appeared next to her. "What did Miroku do this time?" "Oh, the usual." She smiled at the fox-like child next to her. "So how do you want to torture Inu-Chan today, Shippo?" As soon as Kagome had said Inu-Chan, he opened a notebook to draw a stick person to resemble Kagome. The picture he drew actually looked like her. 'Damn, this has been one freakish day.' Then he decided that the torture would be even better if the drawing resembled her. He thought of several tortures and drew the girl undergoing each of these. He closed the notebook and handed it across the table to Kagome. Shippo looked over Kagome's shoulder at the pictures. He smiled evilly. "Wouldn't Kikyo love to see these?" "What do you mean?" Inu-Yasha asked. When he saw Kagome smiling, he knew something must be wrong. Then he recognized the black cover with the dragon. He saw the first page clearly in his mind---it said "Shrine to Kikyo," and pictures of her were scattered throughout the notebook. Miroku came up behind Kagome (still trying to get away from Sango) and looked at the drawings. Inu-Yasha slammed his head against the table until he noticed that Kikyo was walking towards them. "Oh damn!" He snatched the notebook from Kagome and ran out of the room. "What's wrong with him?" Kikyo asked. Kagome had the same torturous grin as Shippo. "Can't say I know."  
  
Kagome walked after Inu-Yasha (after all, she hadn't actually tortured him yet) and found him sitting next to a tree scribbling in another notebook. Inu-Yasha hadn't looked up but could tell she was there. "How are you going to make my life miserable today?" Kagome took on an innocent expression. "Who, me?" Inu-Yasha made a gesture that some people would consider inappropriate for a story like this. (for you bakas out there, it has to do with a certain finger) He closed the cover to the notebook and walked away. Kagome (STILL thirsty for torture) followed him. "Wait up, Inu-Chan!" Inu-Yasha gritted his teeth. "I will not kill, I will not kill." "You don't mean me, do you." Inu-Yasha stopped and turned around. "Listen you, I'm about this close to---" He didn't finish because Shippo, being as small as he was, had slipped up behind Inu-Yasha and grabbed the notebook. "You little---" It was too late; Shippo had already opened the cover and looked at the sketch Inu-Yasha had been working on. "Now this is different," the small boy said, looking at the drawing. "It's a picture of Kagome." "What are you talking about?" Inu-Yasha had started to flush. "It doesn't look anything like her." He attempted to take back the notebook, but Kagome grabbed it first. "Oh, how sweet, Inu-Chan. Can I keep it?" Inu-Yasha made the same gesture that he had earlier. (if you idiots STILL haven't figured it out, he flipped her off.) "You could've just said no." She closed the notebook and threw it on the ground. "Oh great. The stupid asses got dirt all over it." He picked it up and brushed off some of the dirt. As he turned around he saw Koga, one of his rivals, sitting where Kagome had begun her second round of torture. The large tree was in the center of the schoolyard, and Inu-Yasha was strangely attracted to it. He walked around to the side of the tree opposite where Koga was sitting, and tried to finish his picture. "Inu-Yasha? What do you think of Kagome?" Koga had come to sit by him and was looking at the picture instead of Inu-Yasha. "What, you like her or something?" When he saw Koga begin to blush, he knew the answer. 'What the hell can he see in her?!' "What do you think of her?" the boy repeated. "My personal opinion is that she is a bloodthirsty bitch," he said, still working on the sketch. "Well, why do you say that?" "Why do you think? She's made my life into a living hell!" "If you hate her so much, then why are you drawing a picture of her?" Inu-Yasha got up, about to kill Koga. "Why don't you listen up? If you want Kagome, ask her out. I ain't stopping you. If you don't want her, then cut all these questions and get the hell out of my face." He walked off to try to find someplace where he could finish his picture. Koga watched him walk off. "Touchy, touchy."  
  
*Another Shrine* Miroku sat down by Inu-Yasha as he usually did at lunch. "Can I see your new notebook?" Inu-Yasha somewhat hesitantly handed the book to his friend. After a while, he started to wonder why Miroku was taking so long to look through it. He finally handed the notebook back to him. "Geez, Inu- Yasha. I never thought you'd have a crush on Kagome. I thought you'd like even Yura (yes, the freak with the hair) before you liked her." Inu-Yasha had learned one thing from Sango---heavy objects are your best friends. And, of course, he whacked Miroku with his biggest book. "What the hell was that for?!" "Oh, gee. What do you think?!" He was about ready to take another shot. "What in the hell made you think I liked Kagome?" "Oh, I dunno. Maybe the fact that your entire notebook is filled with sketches of her." He sighed. "What's next? Pictures of her naked?" Inu-Yasha once again took aim and hit Miroku with his book. "Alright you lecher, let's get one thing straight. Just because you draw pictures of Sango naked doesn't mean that I'm like that with Kagome! I don't even like the stupid witch!" "You must be softening up. Koga said you called her a bitch yesterday." "Dammit Miroku!" Inu-Yasha hit him so hard with the book that he fell off the bench. Miroku staggered to his feet and rubbed his head. "You wanna say anything else, pal?" Inu-Yasha still held the book ready. "Uh, I, eh, just remembered. I have to go see Sango." Miroku started to back away. "See you later." He ran across the room. Inu-Yasha jammed his notebook into his book bag as Kagome walked towards the table. "Hey Inu-Chan," she said with her ever torturous grin. Inu-Yasha took out another notebook and started to draw. 'Just ignore her, and maybe she'll disappear.' "What're you drawing Inu-Chan." Kagome struggled to see what it was. Inu-Yasha continued to sketch. 'Don't kill her now---the scream would make it sort of obvious.' "Come on, Inu-Chan! Let me see!" 'Just humor her. Later I can find out where she lives and just bomb her house.' He added a few details and handed her the picture. "Oh, you drew me? That's so sweet Inu-Chan." She handed the notebook back to him. 'The hell's going on?! She didn't make a scene.' Inu-Yasha picked up his book bag and left. "Wait Inu-Yasha!" He turned around to see Kagome running up to him. "You forgot your book." "Thanks." 'She's smiling? And she called me Inu-Yasha? I have a feeling hell just froze over.' She still hadn't vanished as Inu-Yasha had hoped. "So have you drawn any other pictures of me?" She actually looked happy for once. 'Damn, this is too freaky.' "Uh, yeah." "Well, are you gonna let me see them?" "O---kay." He pulled out his notebook and handed it to her. This one was dark blue with a silver dragon. For some reason, he liked stuff with dragons. "Those are great." She handed the notebook back to him, still smiling. "What kind of torture are you plotting this time? Whatever it is, I ain't buying it." "I thought we could call a truce." Inu-Yasha jumped back. "Okay, what the hell's going on here. What did you do to me?! Did you tell Kikyo, or do something to my hair? Did you poison my food?" (His stomach had started to feel sick) "What?!" "What makes you think I did something to you?" Inu-Yasha walked away, never taking his eyes from Kagome. Kikyo walked up to Kagome and watched Inu-Yasha leave. "So, what's up with him?" "He thinks I poisoned him." "Why would he think that?" "Maybe because I torture him eternally." "I won't ask."  
  
Inu-Yasha had gone home as soon as school let out. He sat on the sofa in his living room, looking at a sketch of Kagome. His brother Sessho-Maru stood behind him. He had the same white hair as Inu-Yasha, but stood almost a foot taller. "Don't tell me. Another Shrine?" "Whaddya mean?" "Well you had that little "Shrine to Kikyo," didn't you?" 'Dammit Kagome! You told my brother too?!' "I dunno what you're talking about." "Oh, well then I guess you won't mind the fact that I looked through you're black notebook the other day. You know, the one with the gold dragon." "You bastard!" He went to hit his brother, but Sessho-Maru grabbed his arm and punched Inu-Yasha in the face. "I love you too, little brother." "Damn that bastard. I can't believe he's my brother." As he picked himself up the doorbell rang and he closed the notebook he had been looking in. When he went to answer the door, he saw Kagome standing out on the porch. "Don't I at least get a break from your torture at home?" Kagome stepped up to him and smiled. Inu-Yasha stepped back cautiously. 'She's smiling again. What is this, a sign of the apocalypse?!" "Hello, Inu-Yasha." Inu-Yasha took another step back. "Uh, hi." He was about to walk inside and shut the door, but someone shoved him back outside. He turned around just in time to see Sessho-Maru. "You shouldn't leave your little friend out here all by herself." And with that he locked Inu-Yasha out of his house---stuck with Kagome.  
  
*The Unthinkable* Inu-Yasha turned around slowly to face his tormenter. "What's up?" Kagome was still smiling. "Oh, nothing. Just thought I'd say hi." "Well, you said it, so I guess you'll be leaving now." Inu-Yasha was already thinking of things to do to get back at his brother. "Actually, I was wondering if you'd go to the Cherry Blossom Festival with me." Inu-Yasha stared at the girl. "Isn't that supposed to be for, you know, people who like each other." Sessho-Maru leaned out of one of the windows. "Don't pay any attention to him. You're the only person he draws now, and he murmurs your name in his sleep. Kagome, isn't it?" "You lousy bastard!" Inu-Yasha ran to the window, but Sessho-Maru shut it before he got there. "I can tell you're brothers, the way you fight all the time." Kagome looked down. "I really would like to go to the festival with you." Inu-Yasha walked over by the girl. "Give me one reason why I should trust you after you've tortured me so much." Kagome shrugged her shoulders. "It's up to you if you wanna go with me. It's not like I'll force you to." "All right. I'll go with you to the festival." "Thank you!" Kagome jumped up and kissed Inu-Yasha on the cheek. She then ran down the stairs of his porch and back towards her house. "WHAT THE HELL'S GOING ON HERE?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!"  
  
Miroku and Inu-Yasha were walking to their lockers. "You heard my scream at your house? Seriously?" "Yeah. So what happened anyway?" Inu-Yasha put his hand on his cheek. "I'd rather not talk about it. But I still need to disinfect myself." He shuddered at the mere memory of Kagome kissing him. 'Why me? What've I ever done?' Kagome came up to Inu-Yasha at his locker. "We're still going to the festival together, right?" "Yeah, sure." Miroku stared at Inu-Yasha in disbelief. Kagome smiled. "I'll see you then." After Kagome left, Miroku stood in front of Inu-Yasha. "The Cherry Blossom Festival?" "Look, Sessho-Maru locked me out of the house! I was stuck outside with her!" "So that's what you screamed about." Inu-Yasha shuddered again. "I screamed about something worse than that." "Well, what could be worse than that?" Inu-Yasha whispered the unthinkable thing in Miroku's ear. "SHE KISSED YOU?!?!?!?!" Everyone in the hallway stopped talking and stared at them. "Miroku, give me the dictionary." Miroku looked up at Inu-Yasha. "No, please. I'm begging you, not the dictionary." "Miroku, give me the dictionary now." "Inu-Yasha, please. Sango just hit me a little while ago, I'm very vulnerable right now." "Give me the damn dictionary!" Miroku opened his locker and pulled out a hardcover book about three inches thick. He glared at the book, and handed it to Inu-Yasha. And, well, you know what happened next. Inu-Yasha put the dictionary back in Miroku's locker and slammed it closed. Everyone was still staring at them. "What the hell are you looking at?!?!?!" Miroku finally seemed to be able to stand again. "Some friend you are." "I'm just making you stronger!" With this Inu-Yasha slapped him on the back, and Miroku fell over again. "Something tells me it's not working."  
  
"So is widdle Inu-Chan going to the festival with widdle Kagome?" Sessho-Maru lived to torture his younger brother. "Awwww, isn't that sweet." "Knock it off you bastard!" "Oh, are you cranky from being away from Kagome? Well don't worry. You'll see her at the festival tomorrow. Inu-Yasha grinned. "You wanna see cranky, you bastard?!" Once again Sessho-Maru caught his arm before he could hit him, but instead of hitting Inu-Yasha, he just observed his brother. Sessho-Maru lifted his arm so that Inu-Yasha was hanging in mid-air. He grinned at his brother's struggling. "What's the matter Inu-Yasha? Ever since Kagome kissed you, you just can't fight any more. What a shame." Inu-Yasha punched Sessho-Maru with his free hand. "The only reason she kissed me is because you locked me out of the house, you bastard. It's not like I wanted her to." Sessho-Maru grinned. "But it has been on your mind hasn't it?" Inu- Yasha remained silent, and Sessho-Maru threw him on the ground. "Have fun tomorrow night." Inu-Yasha got up and walked back to his room. He put his hand on his cheek and started to smile. Then he caught himself thinking about Kagome. "DAMN THAT BITCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
*The Cherry Blossom Festival* Inu-Yasha stood on Kagome's porch. It was the night of the Cherry Blossom Festival, and he was in the holiday spirit. 'I finally know where she lives! Now I'm just a nuclear bomb away from freedom!' He rang the doorbell and a young boy answered. "Hey, is Kagome ready?" "Ohhhhhh, so you're the one she tricked into going to the festival with her. Yeah, she's almost ready." The little boy walked into the house, and Inu-Yasha followed. "I'm Sota, Kagome's little brother. You must be Inu- Yasha." The boy sat down and turned on the TV. A stuffed lamb came on, singing, "This is the song that never ends." Inu-Yasha shuddered at the sound. 'Even her little brother likes to torment people,' he thought. Inu- Yasha then saw Kagome coming down the stairs. Sango was with her, apparently going to meet Miroku. Inu-Yasha knew this was the case because she had a hardcover book sticking out of her purse. "Hey Inu-Yasha." Kagome looked over at Sota. "Do you have to torture Inu-Yasha with that song?" "I happen to like this song." Inu-Yasha shuddered again. 'The horror.'  
  
The three of them met Miroku at the festival, and then the two couples went off on their own. Inu-Yasha sighed. "So the torture begins," he muttered to himself. "Did you say something?" "No, no, nothing at all." He looked around. "So what do you wanna do?" Kagome was holding his hand, which sent chills down Inu-Yasha's spine at first. But after a while, he didn't mind it as much. "I don't know. Do you wanna catch some goldfish?" Inu-Yasha nodded and they went over to the little tank.  
  
"So why are we doing this again?" Sango asked Miroku. They had been following Inu-Yasha and Kagome the whole time, making sure they didn't see them. "Because if we let them do this on their own, it'll take forever." "So what's your big plan?" "We've got to steer them towards the Ferris Wheel once the stars are out." "For what?" Miroku could tell that Inu-Yasha liked Kagome, the way he was humiliating himself to get a fish for her. "It's classic. We wait until they're at the very top, and then we get someone to stop the Ferris Wheel." "How are you going to convince them to do that?" "Tell them it's for romance. And if that doesn't work, I've got fifty bucks in my pocket." Sango looked at Inu-Yasha and Kagome. "Who would've thought?"  
  
Inu-Yasha was soaked after trying to get the goldfish for Kagome. He pushed his damp white hair out of his face, and smiled when he thought of how happy she had been after he gave it to her. He then won her a stuffed dragon, and they ran into Miroku and Sango. Sango walked up first. "So have you two been having a good time?" "Yeah, I'm having a great time." Kagome seemed as bouncy as ever. Miroku then came up to Inu-Yasha. "There is a God and He loves me." Inu-Yasha laughed. "Let me guess, Sango hasn't hit you." "Not once! I've been injury free for over an hour!" Sango glared at him. "Are you saying that I hit you all the time?" "Uh, er, no, nothing like that. Anyway, Sango and I were about to go on the Ferris Wheel. You guys wanna come?" "You want to Inu-Yasha?" Kagome asked. Inu-Yasha nodded. "Sure. It sounds like fun."  
  
As soon as Inu-Yasha and Kagome got on the Ferris Wheel, Miroku and Sango jumped out of line. Miroku ran over to the man by the controls. "Hey, could you do me a favor?" "Let me guess, you want me to stop the Ferris Wheel when your friends get to the very top, and you're gonna say I should do it because it's for romance. Am I right?" "Well, since you already said it for me, why don't I just give you fifty bucks?" "Deal." Sango looked up at Inu-Yasha and Kagome. "Let the romance begin."  
  
Inu-Yasha sat next to Kagome in the Ferris Wheel, with his hand on top of hers. Kagome was leaning over the side, trying to see everything. Slowly they moved towards the top, and Inu-Yasha closed his eyes. Suddenly, the Ferris Wheel came to a creaking stop. Inu-Yasha opened his eyes to see Kagome looking down. "I have a feeling we'll be here for a while." Inu-Yasha sat up. "Yeah." "Inu-Yasha, I---I'm really having a good time." "Yeah, me too." "So what's your brother like?" Kagome rested her head on his chest and closed her eyes. "Well, when you're not torturing me at school, he tortures me at home." Kagome laughed. "Sounds like fun." Inu-Yasha found himself putting his arm around Kagome. He didn't know why, but he wanted to hold her. "I've never really had a date to the Cherry Blossom Festival before. I've always just gone with my friends." "What made you decide to come with me this year?" Inu-Yasha leaned back again and closed his eyes. "I like you. I don't know why, I just do." "You sure have an odd way of showing it." Kagome laughed again, and then they just sat there. There was a loud popping noise, and Kagome opened her eyes to see what it was. "Inu-Yasha! Look!" Inu-Yasha opened his eyes to see fireworks shooting into the sky. He smiled as he watched them burst and fall back down in colored streaks. "It's so beautiful." Kagome sighed as she watched the fireworks. "Yeah. Hey, do you get the feeling someone stopped the Ferris Wheel on purpose?" "What makes you think that?" "Well, it stopped as soon as we were at the very top, and the fireworks started right after we got stuck." "Well, since you put it that way. I don't mind it though." "Me neither." (Isn't it so sweet?) They watched the fireworks for a while, and then the Ferris Wheel started moving again. They got off again at the bottom, Kagome resting her head on Inu-Yasha's shoulder. Miroku and Sango waited by where they had met before. "You know Inu- Yasha's probably gonna kill you, right." Miroku smiled and shook his head. "He'll only kill me if it doesn't go well. But, I think they had a good time." Inu-Yasha and Kagome walked up together. "You guys ready to go?" Kagome yawned. "I nearly fell asleep in the Ferris Wheel." Sango nodded her head, and the four of them left.  
  
*The Unthinkable-Part II* The two couples had been on their way home, when Sango looked at Miroku. "I think hell froze over again." "What do you mean?" "I haven't hit you all afternoon." "Whaddya know?" Sango then felt Miroku, well you know. And she hit him right in the face with her book. Miroku stumbled back to his feet slowly. "I should've known you couldn't go a day without being perverted." "I can't help it. It runs in my family." "Thank God you don't have any siblings." Miroku and Sango then left, since they lived in a different direction than Kagome and Inu-Yasha. Inu-Yasha held the things that he had won for Kagome, and Kagome held his arm and let her head rest on his shoulder. They walked slowly, but they at last came to Kagome's house. All of the lights were out except for the one on the porch. Kagome let go of his arm and walked up to the gate. "Thank you Inu-Yasha. How can I repay you?" Inu-Yasha walked up to her. "Don't worry about it." He handed her the little fish and stuffed toy, and then leaned over and kissed her. (Fluffy Moment!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) He then smiled at her and stepped back. Kagome walked up to her porch and, with a glance back, went into her house. Inu-Yasha then turned and walked back towards his own house, where he knew he would be infinitely questioned and tortured. He smiled when he thought of Kagome, and realized that he actually did like her. 'What if she doesn't like me though? What if she was just trying to humiliate he or something?' Inu-Yasha shrugged. "Oh well. As long as she never lets her brother sing that song around me.  
  
Inu-Yasha walked in his house to find Sessho-Maru sitting on the sofa. "So, did widdle Inu-Chan have a good time with Kagome?" Inu-Yasha just smiled and walked up behind Sessho-Maru. "Actually, yeah. I did." He grabbed Sessho-Maru's white hair and pulled back his head. "And if you wanna bug me about that, you bastard, go right ahead, because I actually like her." He then punched Sessho-Maru and started to walk back to his room. Sessho-Maru smiled. "At least you can fight again."  
  
Inu-Yasha went in his room and fell on the bed. 'I beat the crap out of Sessho-Maru because he was bugging me about Kagome.' He smiled. 'I gotta try that more often.' He saw that his knuckles were turning red where he had hit his brother. "Damn, Kagome. You sure mess me up."  
  
Kagome was lying on her back in her room. "He---kissed me." She remembered how warm he had felt in the Ferris Wheel, and how he looked at her after he kissed her. "What the hell's the matter with me? I can't get him off my mind." 'It was so much fun torturing him,' she thought to herself. 'I guess I'll have to be nice to him now. Oh well.'  
  
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Kagome: That is NOT what happened!!!!  
  
Inu-Yasha: Bull shit! You were hanging all over me!  
  
Sessho-Maru: I don't know little brother. You didn't hit me that hard. I would have beat the shit out of you.  
  
Shippo: What about me?! I was barely in the damn thing!  
  
Miroku: *has arm around Sango* Come now, could we stop the swearing. There are children here. *moves arm towards butt*  
  
Sango: *hits Miroku with dictionary from before* Well then Kagome, why don't you tell us your side of the story?  
  
Sessho-Maru: I do remember hanging out the window though. And beating the crap out of the half breed.  
  
Inu-Yasha: What did you say, Fluffy?!  
  
Sessho-Maru: You leave Rin out of this!!!!  
  
Sango: Since I'm the only rational one here, I guess I should end the chapter.  
  
Miroku: *still half-unconcious from the dictionary* eezy-sqweezy lemon peezy.  
  
Sango: *sigh* *ends chapter*  
  
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	2. Detail, Detail

Disclaimer: Since I didn't do one last chapter, I figured I'd make up for it in this one.  
  
I don't own the Inu-Yasha cast *sigh*, but I can dream can't I? I don't own "eezy-sqweezy lemon peezy" *sigh again* or any of the other things Miroku says while he's not in his right mind either *SIGH again*. I do, however, own the dictionary and the encyclopedia. And my friend and I DO own the Ranma ½ and Chobits graphic novels. But we don't have X-1999 or Maison Ikkoku *AGAIN SIGH* OH TO HELL WITH IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'll just get rich off my mangas and buy everything I don't already have! Let's just start the damn story.   
  
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Kagome: Now that you've heard Inu-Yasha's side of the story, I'll tell you mine.  
  
Inu-Yasha: It'll probably be a load of bull shit.  
  
Kagome: *smiles evilly towards Inu-Yasha* Sit, boy.  
  
Inu-Yasha: *goes smashing into the ground* YOU BITCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Kagome: SIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Inu-Yasha: *smashes into ground leaving a four-foot deep imprint*  
  
Sango: Let's just get this thing started.  
  
Miroku: How now brown cow!  
  
Sango: Oy!  
  
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*The Tormenter*  
Kagome sat down at a table in the corner of the lunchroom. She pulled out a bag of chips and a couple of graphic novels: Chobits and X. She began to read X as her friend Sango came to sit by her. Sango also had some graphic novels: Ranma ½ and Maison Ikkoku. "What's up Sango?"  
"Not much." Sango set her books down on the table and put her book bag next to her chair. It seemed to be bigger than usual.  
"I take it you're going out with Miroku again."  
"Yep." Sango pulled an encyclopedia out of her book bag and patted it. "Things have been going better. Wanna trade Chobits and Ranma for today?"  
"Sure." They exchanged the books and started to talk. Then Kagome saw Inu-Yasha, one of the most aggravating guys in school, walking towards the table.   
"How's it going Kagome?" He asked with a wicked grin. "Still reading that porn I see."  
"Why you lousy bastard--"  
"Now, now. I was just about to go see my good friend Koga."  
"Burn in Hell you bastard."  
Sango sighed as Miroku came to sit by her. "They're at it again."  
Miroku nodded. "It's been like this ever since Inu-Yasha found out that Kagome liked Koga."  
"Koga is cute though." Sango saw Miroku glare at her.  
"Oh yeah?"  
"Who're you to talk, dammit! You go around hitting on every girl in the school!"  
Miroku scratched his head. "Do I? My memory's sorta fuzzy." Sango began to reach towards her book bag. "No Sango! Please! I'm begging you don't----" He couldn't finish what he was saying because Sango had knocked him off the chair with the encyclopedia.  
  
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Miroku: *finally back to normal* Wait a damn minute! Before I get hit in the head again let's get one thing straight! In this fanfiction, Sango hits me in the head with a dictionary, not an encyclopedia! *normal for him at least*  
  
Inu-Yasha: What's the difference?  
  
Sango: Encyclopedias aren't as heavy. *grabs encyclopedia and whacks Miroku on the head* See, he's still in his right mind. *grabs dictionary and whacks Miroku again*  
  
Miroku: But Mommy, what about the closet monsters? *collapses*   
  
Sessho-Maru: Ah yes, I see the difference.  
  
Kagome: Well excuse the hell outta me! Can we get on with the story now?!  
  
Sessho-Maru: Please proceed.  
  
Inu-Yasha: HOLD IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Kagome: WHAT NOW?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!  
  
Inu-Yasha: SINCE WHEN IS KOGA CUTE?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!  
  
Kagome: I'll say it!  
  
Inu-Yasha: Just answer my question!!!  
  
Kagome: I was young and stupid, alright?!  
  
Miroku: *regains consciousness, but still is not in his right mind* Inu-Yasha, do you really have to make out with Kikyo every time we go to the movies.  
  
Kagome: *again smiles at Inu-Yasha evilly*  
  
Inu-Yasha: *starts to back away* No, no it's not what you think! It was before we started going out. I haven't even kissed Kikyo!  
  
Kagome: I was there in "Kagome's Voice and Kikyo's Kiss," remember?  
  
Inu-Yasha: Eh, heh. Oh yeah. I uh, forgot about that."  
  
Kagome: SIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Sango: Can we continue now?  
  
Miroku: *rocking back and forth* I love you. You love me. We're a happy family....  
  
Sango: *throws dictionary at Miroku's head, knocking him out again* Let's just get this over with.  
  
****************************************************************************************************************  
  
Later that day Kagome sat by Sango, snacking on a Butterfinger. "What's with that bastard Inu-Yasha?!"  
Sango shrugged, too involved in her manga to actually reply. "I think Miroku said he liked you."  
Kagome choked on her Butterfinger. "What the hell did you say?!?!?!?!"  
Sango again shrugged, obviously not noticing Kagome holding up her mechanical pencil. "I was just telling you what Miroku told me."  
Kagome started hacking. "I think I'm gonna be sick."  
  
****************************************************************************************************************  
  
Kagome: I actually puked that day too.  
  
Sango: Yeah I know. All over my Maison Ikkoku book. *sniffle*  
  
Kagome: I bought you a new one didn't I?!?!  
  
Sango: It didn't smell the same as the first one. It just didn't have that first graphic novel scent.  
  
Miroku: It was an itsy bitsy teeny weeny yellow polka-dot bikini...  
  
Sango: *once again throws dictionary at Miroku's head* Go ahead Kagome.  
  
****************************************************************************************************************  
  
Kagome had gone outside with her friend Shippo, a fox-like child who was about as tall as a kindergartener. They saw Inu-Yasha sitting by a tree drawing. "Inu-Yasha?" The white haired boy looked up and grinned evilly. "What are you drawing?"  
"Well, considering that it's not the porn you read, you wouldn't like it."  
Kagome started to make her hand into a fist, but Shippo sneaked up behind Inu-Yasha and took the notebook.  
"You little rat bastard!"  
Shippo stuck his tongue out as he jumped into the tree out of Inu-Yasha's reach. He gave a low whistle as he began to flip through the drawings. The fox-like child grinned. "There's some interesting pictures of Kikyo here." He stopped as he came to the last one. "This is the one he was working on. But it's not Kikyo." The boy tossed the notebook to Kagome.  
The girl looked at the drawing. It was a rough sketch that almost looked like her. "Is this me?"  
Inu-Yasha snatched the notebook from the girl. "Feh. (I love that word!!!) I wouldn't waste my time or good paper drawing you." He closed the notebook and sat back down on the other side of the tree.   
Kikyo walked up to Kagome. "Do you like Inu-Yasha?"  
"Oh, sure. He's a bastard that calls every manga I own porn. Yep, that's definitely the basis for a strong relationship."  
Kikyo smiled (WHAT THE HELL?!). "I could tell that Inu-Yasha used to like me. He's so transparent. I think he likes you."  
Kagome bent over. "Oh, funny taste in mouth. Stomach queasy."  
  
*The Invitation*  
Kagome had stayed with Sango after school to practice her archery. She had told her friend about the picture and what Kikyo had said. "So what do you think? I think I scared him earlier. I was nice to him." Kagome's arrow hit the bulls eye  
Sango aimed and missed the target. "I dunno. Why don't you ask him to the Cherry Blossom Festival? If he says yes, then he likes you. If he says no, then he doesn't." She took aim and missed.  
"But what if it made him think I liked him?" Kagome shot an arrow and hit the target.  
"Well don't you?" Sango again missed the target.  
Kagome involuntarily shot an arrow at Sango, who had luckily ducked.  
"Well you can't blame me. He's all you ever talk about any more."  
Kagome shot another arrow at Sango, who fell back to avoid being hit. "What was that for?!"  
"Whaddya think?" Kagome's arrow hit the bull's eye.  
"Man, how the hell do you do that?"  
Kagome shrugged and readied another arrow. "I just see Sota." She then remembered the terrible song that her Hell spawn of a little brother would sing: "This is the song that never ends." Kagome shuddered and her arrow again hit the bulls eye.  
"Just ask him. It can't hurt. I mean the worst he can do is torture you eternally." Sango's next arrow went clear over the target and into the next field. A faint "I'm okay!" could be heard from that direction. She dropped her bow and assumed the innocent-bystander act.  
Kagome again struck the bulls eye. "I guess your right. And since he already tortures me all the time, I guess I won't be able to tell the difference." She put down her bow and arrows and left.  
  
As Kagome walked up to Inu-Yasha's house, she heard someone inside scream "bastard". She rang the doorbell and Inu-Yasha stepped outside. He stopped when he saw the girl. "I, uh think you've got the wrong house."  
Kagome stepped up and smiled. "Hey, Inu-Yasha."  
Inu-Yasha stepped back. "Uh, hi." Kagome saw him start to back into the house, but then he was pushed out. A boy taller than Inu-Yasha with longer white hair stood smiling evilly in the doorway.  
"You really shouldn't leave your little friend out here by herself." With that the boy locked Inu-Yasha out of the house.  
Inu-Yasha beat on the door. "Damn you Sessho-Maru!!! I'll get you for this!!!" He then turned slowly to face Kagome. "Eh, heh, what's up?"  
"I was just wondering if you'd go to the Cherry Blossom Festival with me."  
"Do wha?"  
Sessho-Maru leaned out of the window. "Don't listen to anything he tries to tell you. You're the only person he ever draws, and he always talks about you in his sleep."  
"Damn you bastard!!!" Sessho-Maru shut the window before Inu-Yasha could get there.  
"Will you go with me please?" Kagome then did the one thing that no person can say no to---the puppy dog lip.  
"No, not the damn lip!!! Alright, I'll go with you."  
Kagome's smile got wider. "Thank you!" She then jumped up and kissed him on the cheek. The girl jumped off Inu-Yasha's porch and skipped (eek) back towards her house. After a few seconds, she heard a car alarm go off. "Hmm, wonder what that was."  
  
*The Festival*  
Kagome sat in her room with Sango. "So Inu-Yasha said he'd pick you up?" Kagome nodded. "Well, that sounds promising."  
Kagome sighed and flipped part of her hair. "Do you really like Miroku?"  
"Yeah. Sure he's a lecher and a perv at times, but that just makes him, how should I say this, special."  
"Do you trust him?"  
"Heh, heh." She stuffed a book into her purse. "Hell no."  
Kagome then heard the doorbell ring. "That's probably him."  
Kagome and Sango walked down the stairs to hear Sota listening to the song that came from the very depths of Hell---yes, "The song that never ends."  
"Sota! Do you really have to torment Inu-Yasha with that song?!"  
"I like this song!"  
Kagome shuddered just as Inu-Yasha did.  
  
****************************************************************************************************************  
  
Kagome: I'm not going to tell the whole thing about the festival, since Inu-Yasha told it well enough.  
  
Inu-Yasha: Finally, I get a break.  
  
Kagome: But I am gonna retell the kiss.  
  
Inu-Yasha: What?!  
  
Kagome: You don't give enough detail. "Inu-Yasha kissed Kagome" doesn't describe it near enough. You've gotta really portray it.  
  
Inu-Yasha: Portray it?  
  
Kagome: You know, from the minute the lips touch to---  
  
Inu-Yasha: Alright already! I shouldn't have asked.  
  
Kagome: Now, then.  
  
****************************************************************************************************************  
  
Kagome walked with her head on Inu-Yasha's shoulder. He smiled as he walked with his arm around her. Then they came to her house.  
  
****************************************************************************************************************  
  
Inu-Yasha: WAIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Kagome: Dammit, what now?!  
  
Inu-Yasha: Do I really have to hear this?  
  
Kagome: I'll say it.  
  
Inu-Yasha: Okay. I'm cool. I'll listen.  
  
****************************************************************************************************************  
  
Kagome walked up to the gate. "Thank you Inu-Yasha. How can I make it up to you?"  
Inu-Yasha walked up to her. "Don't worry about it." He put his hand on the side of her face and leaned over to kiss her.  
  
****************************************************************************************************************  
  
Inu-Yasha: MAKE IT STOP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Kagome: *looks really pissed off* SIT!!!!!!SIT!!!!!SIT!!!!!SIT!!!!!SIT!!!!!!SIT!!!!!SIT!!!!!SIT!!!!!SIT!!!!!!  
SIT!!!!!!SIT!!!!!SIT!!!!!SIT!!!!!SIT!!!!!!SIT!!!!!SIT!!!!!SIT!!!!!SIT!!!!!!SIT!!!!!SIT!!!!!SIT!!!!!SIT!!!!SIT!!!!!!  
SIT!!!!!!SIT!!!!!SIT!!!!!SIT!!!!!SIT!!!!!!SIT!!!!!SIT!!!!!SIT!!!!!SIT!!!!!!SIT!!!!!SIT!!!!!SIT!!!!!SIT!!!!SIT!!!!!!SIT!!!!!!SIT!!!!!SIT!!!!!SIT!!!!!SIT!!!!!!SIT!!!!!SIT!!!!!SIT!!!!!SIT!!!!!!SIT!!!!!SIT!!!!!SIT!!!!!SIT!!!!SIT!!!!!!SIT!!!!!!SIT!!!!!SIT!!!!!SIT!!!!!SIT!!!!!!SIT!!!!!SIT!!!!!SIT!!!!!SIT!!!!!!SIT!!!!!SIT!!!!!SIT!!!!!SIT!!!!SIT!!!!!!SIT!!!!!!SIT!!!!!SIT!!!!!SIT!!!!!SIT!!!!!!SIT!!!!!SIT!!!!!SIT!!!!!SIT!!!!!!SIT!!!!!SIT!!!!!SIT!!!!!SIT!!!!SIT!!!!!!  
  
Inu-Yasha: *has been slammed so far into the ground that he can barely be seen*  
  
Kagome: That's for screwing up my kissing scene.  
  
Inu-Yasha: Just you wait. Don't forget I brought a camera to the cast's Christmas party last year.  
  
Kagome: *looks somewhat paler* Eh, heh. I love you Inu-Chan.  
  
****************************************************************************************************************  
  
Inu-Yasha kissed the girl. Her lips were so soft, and felt perfect against his. He reluctantly stepped back, and looked down at her. Kagome and put a hand on her cheek where he had touched her. 'That tasted good. Addictive, like sugar, or chocolate.'  
Kagome went back into her house with one look back. She saw Inu-Yasha stay outside her house until she turned off the porch light. Then, with his hands in his pockets, he walked back towards his house.  
Kagome walked up to her room and fell on her bed with her hand on her cheek. She closed her eyes and thought of Inu-Yasha and her first kiss.  
And then out of the shadows once again came the Hell-born song.  
"DAMMIT SOTA, WOULD YA TURN THAT OFF?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!"   
  
****************************************************************************************************************  
  
Inu-Yasha: *finally out of the hole he made in the ground* Why did you have to do the detail for the damn kiss?  
  
Ryu: That's part of the dedication for this chapter.  
  
Inu-Yasha: Who the hell are you?  
  
Ryu: I'm the author you baka.  
  
Kagome: *walks up to the short little teenager claiming to have written the story* Alright then, little girl, who are you dedicating the chapter to?  
  
Ryu: *growls and reaches for a mechanical pencil* I am warning you. I have a love for sharp objects and I have an asylum identification band to prove it.  
  
Kagome: *backs away smiling* Eh heh, as I was saying, who did you want to dedicate the chapter to?  
  
Ryu: Before I dedicate the chapter, I would like to thank all my fans out there. I got three reviews on my first chapter!!! THREE WHOLE REVIEWS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *sniffle* I am loved. Anywho, I am dedicating this chapter to my Asylum Buddy, Kells. I tried to add detail to the kiss because she wouldn't give me a break about it last chapter. Are you happy now?!?! (And if you say no, my response is "BITE ME DAMMIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!")  
  
Sessho-Maru: What was the other part of the dedication?  
  
Miroku: *holding a toilet plunger like the moon scepter and wearing one of Kagome's school uniforms* Fighting evil by moonlight. Winning love by daylight. Never running from a real fight. She is the one named Sailor Moon.  
  
Sango: Does he really have to finish the song?  
  
Ryu: *smiles evilly* Yes.  
  
IY Cast except Miroku: NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Miroku: *doing little twirlies and flips* She will never turn her back on her friends. She is always there to defend. She is the one on whom we can depend. She is the one named Sailor-------------  
  
Sessho-Maru: Kami save us.  
  
Miroku: *doing more twirlies and flips* Sailor Venus! Sailor Mercury! Sailor Mars! Sailor Jupiter! Secret powers are so new to her! She is the one named Sailor Moon.  
  
Koga: What in the seven hells is that noise?!  
  
Miroku: *twirling as Jaken performs the musical interlude like a dying cat*  
  
Kagome: What did you do to Buyo?!?!  
  
Miroku: Fighting evil by moonlight. Winning love by daylight. With her Sailor Scouts to help fight. She is the one named Sailor Moon. She is the one named Sailor Moon. She is the one *dun dun* Sailor Moon.  
  
Sango: Now?  
  
Ryu: Go ahead.  
  
Sango: *throws dictionary at Miroku's head*  
  
Ryu: Oh yeah, one other thing was a part of the dedication.  
  
IY Cast except Miroku: NO!!!! NO MORE SINGING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Ryu: No, I've had my fill of musical torture for this chapter. The last part was the graphic novels. I had to put them in there considering that Kells and I are total manga freaks. Don't worry Asylum Buddy, you get Maison Ikkoku and I'll get X. Also, I'm REALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLY sorry for not updating in such a long time. I don't have the internet at my house, so I have to go to the library to post, and every time I brought the disk with my story, the damn computer screwed it up. Death to these piece of shit computers and bring on the persocoms! (Preferably one that looks like Sesshy-Sama) Also, I may start on a new fanfiction, so look for it!  
  
Sessho-Maru: Are you through yet?  
  
Ryu: Almost. *grins evilly* Sota?  
  
Kagome: Wait! I thought you said no more songs!  
  
Ryu: My fingers were crossed.  
  
Sota: This is the song that never ends. It goes on and on my friends. People started singing without knowing what it was, and now they'll keep on singing forever just because it is the song that never ends...  
  
Ryu: Bwa ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *hack* *cough* Oh to Hell with it. Just end the chapter.  
  
**************************************************************************************************************** 


	3. WARNING: CHOCOLATE HIGH

Author's Note:  
At first you may not understand any of this or how it has to do with my story. I just love screwin' things up. Anyway, consider it a prelude to the other two chapters. And if I write another fanfiction, I have to incorporate psychiatry into it. Imagine Kellsey (who is as deranged as me, if not more) and myself as psychiatrists! *shudder*  
By the way, in the last chapter I included myself as Ryu, but I'm Jenny in this one. If you've a problem with skitzos, then you shouldn't be reading this.  
Oh yeah, a little warning to readers: I was chocolate-high every night I worked on this, so prepare yourselves for insanity!  
  
****************************************************************************************************************  
  
*Interesting Introductions*  
With guest appearances by Kellsey, Rose, and Jenny the Skitzo! (That's me!)  
  
Jenny walked exhaustedly into the large room where she had provided therapy for Inu-Yasha and Kagome. For some reason, the couple's deranged friends always attended their sessions. "Good Kami I need a break." She practically collapsed into the big comfy chair and fell asleep there.  
  
Miroku and Sessho-Maru stood over the thirteen year old girl. "Ya think she's alive?"  
Miroku grinned. "I know how we can find out."  
  
Sango and Kagome were riding in the elevator to the psychiatrist's office (I'm a psychiatrist in this fanfiction! Dear Kami save us all.) Inu-Yasha stood in the corner of the elevator, breathing heavily and clutching at the railings. "I'm on the ground, I'm not in a piece of metal hundreds of feet in the air, the cable's not gonna break and we all plummet to our death." The hanyou's train of thought was interrupted by a loud shriek that seemed to come from somewhere above them. Then there was a loud crashing noise, and the elevator stopped with a ding. The three of them stepped out of the car and proceeded to walk to the psychiatrist's office, Inu-Yasha somewhat shakily.  
"Don't worry Inu-Yasha. I'll buy you some ramen after we leave."  
His ears perked up, but he still grumbled to himself. "I still say this is stupid. Why do we hafta go to a fucking shrink anyway?"  
Kagome sighed. "We did go to the school counselor for a while, but I think Miroku scared her. "  
"Feh! Scared her? Whaddya expect when he tried to grope her every time we went in."  
"Poor woman. She was probably scarred for life."  
The trio found the psychiatrist's office: Room 613. *dun dun dun*  
Kagome pulled a slip of paper from her pocket and glanced at it. "Well this is the place. Drs. Jenny and Kellsey." *thunder and lightning in the background followed by the "dun dun dun" sound can be heard.*  
"Dammit what is that noise?!" Kagome shrugged and opened the door *dun dun dun* to the psychiatrist's office. The three of them stepped inside to see a large room with pink walls. There were stuffed animals in a fifty-foot pile on one side of the room, and a giant bunny chair on the other side. Kagome's eyes widened. She clutched at Sango's arm as they walked into the room.  
"Is this the end. Is this Hell?"  
After having cowered in fear together, the girls looked around to see where Inu-Yasha had gotten to. "Inu-Chan?" Kagome then saw him huddled against the door in a fetal position sucking his thumb.   
"It's all so nice and sweet. *twitch* So...*twitch*...much...*twitch*...KINDNESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *TWITCH* NEED.........................HATRED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *TWITCH*  
Kagome rushed over to Inu-Yasha who was now holding a small teddy bear and rocking back and forth. "Inu-Yasha are you okay?!"  
"I'm not in a psychiatrist's office surrounded by *twitch* nice *twitch* things. I'm in a cave eating ramen and watching a home video of Kikyo burning and bleeding and dying a slow painful death. (Yay!)"  
Meanwhile, Sango was aiming Hiraikotsu at the bunny chair. "Come out demon! I said come and face me dammit!!!"  
Kagome walked over to her friend. "Sango, I need to tell you something."  
"Make it quick. You see that demon? Look at the gleam in its eye, it's about to strike."  
"Um, Sango? I dunno how to break this to you, but," Kagome leaned over to talk into the girl's ear, "THAT'S A CHAIR YOU IMBECILE!!!!!!!!!!!"  
Sango lowered the boomerang. "Ooooooooooooooooooooooooh."  
As Kagome was trying to figure out how to keep Sango from destroying every stuffed animal in the room, a shriek like the one they had heard from the elevator came from behind a door on the other side of the room. Then there was a loud crash, and Miroku and Sessho-Maru came running out of the room. "DAMNED HENTAI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"   
In the doorway stood a girl aiming a chair at Miroku. She had long bluish-white hair with lavender streaks. Her black dress fell to the floor on the sides and in the back, but was shorter in the front. Her straight hair was held out of her face by a black headband, and she had a black collar with a silver ring in the center of it. She had black boots that came up to her knees and black armbands on each arm (Talk about a lot of black). The sides of her stomach weren't covered by the dress, but a band attached the front to the back on either side. (Guess who this is!)  
Another girl came out behind her. She had long black hair with blue streaks which also reached the floor. Her dress was short all around, and in the back had criss-crossing bands. She also had an armband on each arm, but unlike the other girl's, it covered most of her arm and ended in loose sleeves. Her dress was tied in the back by a black bow, and she had a black collar and headband as well. Her boots were the same as the other girl's, black coming up to her knees. "Sorry Sesshy-Sama."  
"Kellsey, I think they're our patients!"  
"Well why didn't Rose tell us they were here?!"  
A tall girl with blond hair ran into the room panting. "Sorry I'm late!"  
Jenny leaned over towards Kellsey. "I bet she was too busy with Desky."  
Kellsey looked confused. "I thought she was with Booky."  
"Wait, wasn't she still with Phillip?"  
The two girls looked at Rose holding a soda. "You didn't!"  
"It was an accident! Phillip was in my pocket and I was thirsty! Okay?! I was thirsty!!!"  
Kellsey gasped. "You USED Phillip!"  
"Rose how could you?!  
Miroku was now standing by Sango. "What the Hell are they talking about?!"  
Sessho-Maru ran over in front of them. "Don't you people watch the Fairly Oddparents?!"  
Everyone stares.  
Sessho-Maru and Kellsey start reciting from the episode:  
  
Sessho-Maru: I've got good news and bad news.  
  
Kellsey: What's the good news?  
  
Sessho-Maru: I named my nickel Phillip!  
  
Kellsey: What's the bad news?  
  
Sessho-Maru: It's a girl nickel!  
  
Everyone stares.  
Crickets are heard in the background and a tumbleweed goes rolling by.  
Inu-Yasha resumes thumb-sucking as Miroku begins to chase Kellsey around the pink room.   
Jenny stands up on the bunny chair. "Everyone," *nobody shuts up* "You guys," *Kellsey continues running from Miroku screaming, "GET ME MAH MALLET!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!* Jenny mumbles to herself inaudibly and takes a deep breath. "DAMMIT WILL YOU PEOPLE SHUT UP?!?!?!?!?!" Everyone in the room turns toward the blue-haired girl as she jumps down from the chair with an innocent smile. "Now then, let's start the therapy, shall we?" She skipped lightly into the room humming the tune of a Japanese song.  
As everyone else stared in the direction of the door, Miroku spoke up. "Soft-spoken, yet convincing."  
Jenny stuck her head out the door grinning broadly. "You all better get in here before I start singing the Hamtaro song." The entire IY cast ran into the room, followed by Kellsey skipping after them. The door closed behind them, and Rose sat down at her desk.  
"Why the Hell do I work for these people?"  
  
*Therapy*  
The actual office had black walls with instruments of torture (guillotine, swords, Kikyo plushies, etc.) thrown around on the floor. The only thing that made it look like it didn't come out of a video-game dungeon was the anime memorabilia all over the walls and any pieces of furniture in the room. (Oh, heaven! Various instruments of torture and anime all in one room!!!) Jenny and Kellsey sat at one side of the room and the Inu-Yasha cast sat on the other side.  
Kellsey pushed her black hair back . "Let's start with a song, shall we?"  
Jenny and Kellsey smiled evilly at each other and took a deep breath.  
"Fighting evil by moonlight. (Yes, we actually do sing this song) Winning love by daylight. Never running from a real fight. She is the one named Sailor Moon!"  
*the two psycho psychiatrists finish the song as all of their patients stare in horror."  
"How much are we paying you again?"  
"Just seventy-five bucks an hour."  
Jenny and Kellsey both put on rectangular glasses to look smart, and Jenny started talking in her psychiatrist voice.  
"Inu-Yasha, Kagome. Vut iz ze probvem?"  
"I'll tell ya what the problem is! This wench keeps on sittin' me! That's the problem!"  
"Let's go back a vile."  
Inu-Yasha leans back. "Well, when I was a young yokai..."  
  
...7 hours later...  
  
Inu-Yasha: *is lying with his head in Kagome's lap* And then *sniffle* Sessho-Maru took my ball and he...he threw it over the fence. And I, I...*tears begin to well in his eyes* I never got it back!!! That was my favorite ball!  
  
Kagome: *stroking Inu-Yasha's hair* There, there, Inu-Chan. It's okay.  
  
Everyone Else In The Room: *got so bored during the retelling of Inu-Yasha's entire childhood that they couldn't help but fall asleep*  
  
Kellsey: *finally wakes up and wipes drool from the side of her mouth* Huh? Oh, yes. *nudges Jenny who realizes she had a snot bubble coming out of her nose* Well, I don't think Jenny meant to go that far back.  
  
Jenny: Yeah. Why don't you tell us about when you met?  
  
Kellsey: Wait! *whispers something to Jenny*  
  
Jenny: That's right! We had a present for Sango and Miroku! *pulls a gold-wrapped, rectangle-shaped object from behind her and hands it to Sango, who is still half-asleep*  
  
Sango: What could it be? *opens the wrapping to reveal a large English dictionary*  
  
Kellsey: This way if your teachers take Hiraikotsu..  
  
Jenny: ...you'll still have something to beat the shit out of Miroku with!  
  
Sango: *tears of joy welling in her eyes* Can I try it out now?"  
  
J&K: Sure!  
  
Sango: *whacks Miroku with the encyclopedia* That was invigorating!  
  
Kellsey: Do it again!  
  
Sango: *whacks again*  
  
Everyone: Again!!!  
  
Sango: *whacks AGAIN*  
  
..4 hours later...  
  
Everyone: AGAIN!!!  
  
Miroku: *barely conscious* ENOUGH ALREADY!!! HENTAI HAVE FEELINGS TOO YA KNOW!!!!  
  
Jenny: Maybe we should get back to Inu-Chan and Kagome.  
  
Kellsey: Tell us about when you first met.  
  
...3 hours and two odd fanfiction chapters later (their stories are the first two chapters) ...  
  
Jenny: *playing tic-tac-toe and pretending to take notes* Your move.  
  
Kellsey: In the corner.  
  
Jenny: *draws a circle in the corner*  
  
IY Cast: *staring at the two psychiatrists*  
  
Kellsey: I think we've had enough for one day! How about we give Miroku and Sango couple's counseling next?  
  
Jenny: Yay!  
  
Rose: *walks in and hands a piece of paper to Inu-Yasha, with tears welling in her eyes* I finally get my big paycheck!  
  
Jenny: *starting to sweat a little* Eh heh, how bout you guys open that after you leave?  
  
IY Cast: *leaves as Kellsey and Jenny start singing the Hamtaro song*   
  
Jenny and Kellsey: *grin evilly as they hear Inu-Yasha screaming*  
  
****************************************************************************************************************  
  
Ryu: I feel like ending the chapter with a song!  
  
IY Cast: NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Ryu: Alright, I'll save that for last. Anywho, I warned you people I was chocolate high. I know this seemed sorta rushed, but oh well. Please Review! I need other crazed maniacs out there to help me and Kells come up with Miroku's story.  
  
Ryu: And now for my song...  
  
Minareta machi sarigenaku aru keba tashikani kono me niwa utsuru. Yuugre ni natte susumu hitonamini umorete ubieteru kokoro. Raison d'etre, sonna funni. Raison d'etre, onaji youni. Waratte shizunde nagareru nowa naze? Kagi o sagashiterunda. Zutto sagashiterunda. Dokomede mienai sono DOOR no kagi wa.  
  
Sessho-Maru: Hey, she didn't torment us.  
  
Ryu: *smirks evilly* Hamtaro.  
  
Hamtaro: Hiya guys!  
  
IY Cast: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
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	4. The EndOr NotBWA HA HA HA!

Author's Note:   
  
I am bored out of my mind right now, but since I'm sugar-high I thought I'd work on my fanfiction. I will give SOME credit to Kellsey because she offered to help me with my fanfiction. *sigh* This won't end well.  
  
Anyway, Kellsey wanted to say something in the chapters from now on, so if she ever answers the phone *grumble* she can tell me what she wants in here. By the way, in previous chapters I forgot to mention that some people didn't get the "eezy squeezy lemon peezy" comment that Miroku made in the first chapter. Don't you people watch cartoons?! If you watch Hey Arnold, Herald says that whenever he gets the shit knocked out of him. When Arnold beans him with a baseball, for example.  
  
About my Sessho-Maru persocom, I changed my mind. Caitlin's gonna get the Sessho-Maru persocom, Kellsey's gonna get one that looks like Tasuki, and mine is gonna be Shido. *schoolgirl faint* He's so cute!!! (In case your wondering, Tasuki is from Fushigi Yugi and Shido is from Nightwalker.)  
  
I have come up with the ideas for my next fanfictions! I am going to turn Shakespeare's tragic plays "Romeo and Juliet" and "Hamlet" into absolutely screwed up Inu-Yasha stories, and Kellsey wants to help, but I'd rather work alone...  
  
By the way, does anyone reading this know much of a pain in the ass it is to write about yourself in third person?!  
  
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*More Counseling*  
  
Guest-starring Jenny the skitzo, Kellsey, Rose, Jessica, Caitlin, Leopard, and Alicia.  
  
The IY Cast had already left the psychiatrists' office, or so the teenage psychiatrists thought. Jenny lifted a corner of a Fushigi Yugi poster to reveal a small black button. As she pushed the button, one of the walls opened with a swoosh, showing a huge television monitor and a big red button taking up all of the floor. "Oops. Wrong button."  
  
Jenny then re-covered the button and lifted the corner on a poster for Chobits. Underneath it was a blue button which she pressed. Another wall opened with a swoosh to show Kellsey and Jenny's room. Pictures of Shido were plastered on two of the walls, and pictures of Tasuki were covering the other two. Kellsey went up to one of the Tasuki walls and hugged it. "Hello Tasuki. Did you miss me?"  
  
Jenny stopped worshipping the Shido walls to glance at her friend. Hey, they're coming tomorrow aren't they?"  
  
Kellsey fell back on the floor and sighed. "Yeah."  
  
After he was sure the two psychiatrists were asleep, Miroku creeped into their room. The blue-haired girl was in one corner of the room, asleep by a computer, and the one who had tried to kill him with a giant mallet was asleep over a Ceres graphic novel on the other side of the desk. In a corner, he noticed a dozen candles lined up in a row and two life-size sketches hanging behind them. Underneath one was the name "Shido" and under the other was the name "Tasuki". *sweat drop* (Yes, we really like these guys.) He made a few adjustments to the pictures, then stood over the two girls.  
  
Outside the office building a loud scream could be heard. Then Miroku could be seen running from two teenage girls dressed in black. This time Kellsey had a chair and Jenny was wielding the mallet. Both of them ran after the monk brandishing their weapons and screaming "HENTAI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" When they caught him, it wasn't a pretty sight.  
  
Jenny and Kellsey went back to their office, Kellsey empty-handed since she had broken the chair. Kellsey opened the wall to their room, and looked at the Shido/Tasuki shrine. Her eyes widened and she stared in horror. "Jenny, this does it. Miroku is going to die." *bright lightning in background*  
  
Jenny ripped pictures of Miroku's face from the portraits and tore them into pieces. "Silver finally gets a visitor." *dun dun dun* *loud thunder crashing and lightning showing her outline like in one of those movies that scares the crap out of you*  
  
The next morning as the Inu-Yasha cast re-entered the office, Rose could barely hold back a grin. "They're here!"  
  
Jenny and Kellsey stepped out of the office, Jenny wearing a Chinese outfit and a huge rosary (Chichiri lives!) with her hair in a bun (chopsticks and all!) and Kellsey wearing Subaru's costume that she had "borrowed" from the set of .hack//SIGN. She even had paper wings taped to her back.  
  
Jenny looked at Kellsey. "How come you get to be Subaru? No da."  
  
"Because you wanted to be Chichiri."  
  
"Alright, but I get the wings next time. No da."  
  
"Okay." (What exactly was the purpose of this conversation?!)  
  
Miroku stared at Kellsey. "If she hadn't tried to kill me last night, I'd think she was cute."  
  
Kellsey leaned over and grinned. "I heard that Miroku-san. And we noticed that someone vandalized our shrine." She held up the picture he had put over Tasuki's face and tore it to shreds. Then, in a voice that seemed far too evil for the girl in the little teal outfit, she looked up with bright yellow eyes, (Vampire!) "You shall pay." She said this very slowly, and seemed to savor Miroku's look of horror. Then her eyes went back to their normal hazel and she grinned broadly. "Shall we get started?"  
  
Kellsey and Jenny walked back into the room. The cast followed, and Rose looked like she was about to burst from having not laughed the entire time. After the door shut, Rose fell over chair and all and couldn't stop laughing.  
  
Jenny: So, Miroku, why don't you tell us about when you and Sango met? No da.  
  
Sango: Wait! I beg of you! Let me tell it. His story would be too crazy!  
  
Kellsey: And yours would be too sane.  
  
Sango: Wha?  
  
*Two girls burst into the room wearing executioner's outfits and singing the Hamtaro song*  
  
Jenny: Caitlin! Jessica! No da.  
  
Caitlin and Jessica: *stop singing abruptly* Wait, isn't this Silver's detention/torture room?  
  
Kellsey: Nope. Next door on the right.  
  
Caitlin and Jessica: *resume the Hamtaro song and exit*  
  
Jenny: Don't start the torture without us!!! No da.  
  
Everyone Else: *staring*  
  
Alicia: *laughing her ass off in a corner of the room*  
  
Jenny and Kellsey: NOT YET YOU IDIOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Inu-Yasha: Who's that?  
  
Jenny: That's Alicia. We invited her to come see how odd our sessions are. No da.  
  
Sessho-Maru: O-------kay  
  
Kikyo: Can you remind me why all of us had to be here?  
  
Kellsey: This way we can scare more than just one couple at a time.  
  
Jenny: No da.  
  
Everyone: *silence*  
  
Jenny: So Miroku, you wanna start your story? No da.  
  
*one story with one Hell of a lot of groping later*  
  
Jenny: *cleansing her mind* No da.  
  
Kellsey: *shoving cotton balls in her ears*  
  
Alicia: *also trying to find some means to relieve her mind of Miroku's story* Why do you do this for a living?  
  
Jenny: THE MONEY!!! WHY ELSE?!?! No da.  
  
Everyone: *blank expression*  
  
Kellsey: Don't you people get it?! Money makes the world go round. Money is what puts psychos like us in the psychiatrist's chair. Money is what gives us *glances sideways at Inu-Yasha* ramen.  
  
Inu-Yasha: *somewhat dazed and drooling at the word ramen* Money is good. Money is our friend. Money buys ramen.  
  
Jenny: That's right Inu-Chan. No da. *waves a cup of ramen in front of the dog demon's face*  
  
Inu-Yasha: *unsheathes Tetsusaiga* A duel?  
  
Jenny: *pulls out large mallet with the words "Really Hard Love" written on it* You're on. No da.  
  
Sessho-Maru: What exactly possessed the author to write this fanfiction?  
  
Ryu: *appears from nowhere clutching a cup of coffee* Sugar, and chocolate, and coffee. Ohhhhhhh, yesssssssssssss. Cafffffffffffeineeeeeeeeeeee. Yessssssss, precious. Caffeine is what possesses us, yesssssss precious. And keepses us up until 2 A.M., typing crazinesssssss and laughing evilly. BWA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Kellsey: *grumbling about wearing a skirt*  
  
Alicia: *silence*  
  
Inu-Yasha: *on the ground with a huge bump on his head and his eyes in little swirls*  
  
Miroku: *attempts to look down Kellsey and Jenny's shirts*  
  
Jenny and Kellsey: *growl and pull out Kikyo plushies as their eyes glow yellow*  
  
Alicia: *picks up a charred Kikyo plushie* What the Hell is this?  
  
Kikyo: *staring in horror at Jenny and Kellsey* Wh-what are you doing with those?  
  
Jenny and Kellsey: *throw Kikyo plushies at Miroku's head which make a squeaky noise as they hit*  
  
Kikyo: *screams in pain for her cotton plush counterparts* How could you?! *picks up Kikyo plushie and tries to comfort it*  
  
Jenny: *aims Jaken plushie at Kikyo* No da. *throws Jaken plushie at Kikyo which makes a loud farting noise as it hits*  
  
Rin: *grinning broadly* Rin is sorry.  
  
Everyone: *sniffs air briefly* RINNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Sessho-Maru: *clutching at his sensitive nose* I knew I shouldn't have gotten you that bean burrito, Rin!  
  
Rin: Bean burrito? WHERE?!  
  
*there is a knock at the door as the poisonous air begins to dissipate*  
  
Alicia: *laughing her ass off in a corner with a clothespin on her nose*  
  
Inu-Yasha: *wakes to a tingling sensation in his ear* WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?!?!?!  
  
Kellsey: *appears beside Inu-Yasha* Sorry. Leopard tends to get frisky.  
  
Jenny: Like your foot? No da.  
  
Caitlin: *pops up as screaming can be heard in the background* That's my line!!  
  
Jenny: My apologies. No da.  
  
Kellsey: *scooting her foot towards Caitlin* Oh Caaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaitliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiin.  
  
Caitlin: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *runs out of the room*  
  
*there is another knock at the door which nobody notices*  
  
Inu-Yasha: What the Hell is that thing?!  
  
Kellsey: This is Leopard, my stuffed leopard.  
  
Jenny: Who SOMEHOW *glances sideways at Kellsey who begins to whistle* always manages to get his tail in my ear while I'm playing video games.  
  
Inu-Yasha: HIS tail?! You mean that thing's a guy?! And he was----AHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *runs off to cleanse his mind*  
  
Alicia: *threatening to use a Kikyo plushie as a voodoo doll*  
  
*the door creaks opens slowly to show two anime guys, one with long lavender hair and one with short dark red hair*  
  
Kellsey: Tasuki!  
  
Jenny: Shido! No da. *both girls run up and hug their anime boyfriends*  
  
Kikyo: Hey, the purple-haired one's kinda cute.  
  
Jenny: *glares at Kikyo with bright yellow eyes* He's mine. No da.  
  
Shido: You two haven't been posing as psychiatrists again, have you?  
  
Jenny and Kellsey: *look at each other and then back up at their boyfriends smiling* No.  
  
Tasuki: You ready for our appointment?  
  
Jenny: We just need to change. No da.  
  
*Jenny and Kellsey exit*  
  
Inu-Yasha: *having finally escaped the ear-loving leopard* W-wait a minute. Appointment?  
  
Shido: Yeah.  
  
Tasuki: Every week we go to a psychiatrist with our girlfriends.  
  
Inu-Yasha: You mean.....  
  
Shido: Yep our girlfriends escaped from an asylum, and every now and then they have to visit their old psychiatrist.  
  
*Jenny and Kellsey reenter, Kellsey in Inu-Yasha's kimono and Jenny wearing Presea's outfit that she happened to "find" in the trash outside the Magic Knight Rayearth set. (wonder why they're getting rid of all these anime outfits. *whistle*)*  
  
Sessho-Maru: Something tells me they're into cosplay.  
  
Inu-Yasha: Wh-where did you get my outfit?  
  
Presea: (Where the Hell did she come from?!) And mine too!  
  
Black Chi: Me too!  
  
Chichiri: No da!!!  
  
Subaru: Where did you get them?  
  
Kikyo: Where are all these people coming from?!?!?!?!  
  
Inu-Yasha, Presea, Black Chi, Chichiri, and Subaru: WELL?!?!?!?!?!?!  
  
Jenny and Kellsey: Uhhhhhhh, Internet?  
  
Everyone: Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.  
  
Chichiri: That explains it. No da.  
  
Subaru: I told my agent not to sell my outfits online.  
  
J&K: *sweat drop*  
  
Shido: Maybe we should go.  
  
Jenny: Okay!  
  
Tasuki: Shall we?  
  
Kellsey: *Grabs Tasuki's arm and leaves*  
  
*the door shuts and there is a brief silence*  
  
Inu-Yasha: Maybe.....maybe they.....  
  
Jenny: *sticks her head in the door smiling* Oh yeah Inu-Chan, I almost forgot. Rose will have the bill.  
  
Inu-Yasha: *collapses on the ground crying*  
  
Rose: *skips into the room with a folded piece of paper and hugs Inu-Yasha* I love ya man!!!  
  
Inu-Yasha: *unfolds the bill and folds it back up, still crying* Why me?  
  
Rose: *still smiling* La la la.....  
  
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Jenny: My head hurts.  
  
Ryu: It's because you're an idiot.  
  
Jenny: No I'm not!!  
  
Ryu: Yes you are!!  
  
*continue arguing for an hour*  
  
Kellsey: Don't I get a word in this?!  
  
Jenny: Yeah, go ahead. *places the Truth Crown on Kellsey's head*  
  
Kellsey: *holding back tears* Hi people. I'm Jenny's Asylum Buddy Kellsey. Yeah, yeah, I know y'all feel so honored but I just love you all and I'm so proud *sniffle* to be a part of this fanfiction. *sniffle* And I, I *bursts into tears*  
  
Jenny: It's okay Kellsey. *pats on back*  
  
Miroku: Yeah, it's okay. *pats both girls on their butts*  
  
J&K: *turn around with yellow eyes and Kikyo plushies*  
  
*The two psychiatrists chase Miroku pelting him with Kikyo plushies for two hours*  
  
Jenny: I think you all know my true nature by now. *feels a tingling sensation in her ear* LEOPARD!!!  
  
Kellsey: *hiding the giant stuffed leopard behind her* I can't help it if Leopard gets frisky.  
  
Jenny: *holding a small dagger and grinning* I'd like Leopard to meet a friend of mine.  
  
Kellsey: That's really all right."  
  
Jenny: I'll rip out Leopard's stuffing and make him into a rug!!!  
  
Kellsey: Could you not make him into a rug?  
  
Jenny: What?  
  
Kellsey: You'll destroy his dignity!!!  
  
Jenny: Fine, a blanket!!!  
  
Kellsey: Okay.  
  
Jenny: I know just how to end this chapter!!!  
  
*everyone leaves as Kellsey, Jenny, and Sessho-Maru start square dancing to the Hamtaro song*  
  
I have a feeling I should end this chapter before someone gets hurt.  
  
One thing before I do. This will probably be my last chapter for this fanfiction. See you in the Asylums!  
  
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End file.
